Happy Monday
by Candide Avedo
Summary: It's the first day of Yzak's week off. Yzak Jule, the persevering soldier, now has a new challenge to face- Monday. Can he actually be brought to the brink of insanity? Sorry, no Yaoi here. Just Yzak; Yzak and tomfoolery.


**Author's Note: [Apr/11/2010] This is complete tomfoolery. There is no pairing, no romance; just straight up teasing Yzak. :D I just can't commit to writing something long with exams and other things that distract me to no end, which keeps me from expanding my creative horizon. I'm sowwwwyyyyyyyyyyy. Huh, I did just realize that I had to change the rating due to some content.**

**I'm only playing with ideas on what Yzak's reaction might be to different situations. There is no offense intended. If there was, sowwy again. **

**Disclaimer: I, Candide Avedo do not own anything that has to do with Gundam Seed. Or any other franchise I might have mentioned here which I have forgotten.**

-

Happy Monday

-

''Stupid morning.''

April was introducing spring far too early for Yzak's taste that morning. The sun was out, blinding him from his rest and forcing him to wake up early on his week off. How early? Approximately 0700 hours, amidst the chirping birds. Blasphemy. It didn't feel like his vacation so far, especially on this Monday.

''Stupid Mondays.'' muttered the pale-haired male, rubbing his eyes to squish away the evidence of sleep. He might as well have gotten up to have some breakfast, and get the shower he missed from staying up too late last night.

After having done the latter, Yzak took his time to get dressed. He went for the casual look today, which was a change to his usual uniform. To 'spice' things up, Yzak wore plain black slacks, and a beige polo shirt. Feeling particularly rebellious today, he untucked his shirt, so the loose tail of the polo hung freely down his bottom. HA! Another privilege to his week off.

Making sure he didn't forget his wallet, Yzak closed the door. He decided that the library was his first destination. Maybe he could pick something out before lunch time.

It hadn't been his type of day already; the pancakes he made weren't as fluffy as he wanted it, he ran out of maple syrup (which was his favourite), the water for his shower wasn't hot enough, and (to make matters worse) he almost slipped on the bar of soap he dropped just before he got out of the shower.

Yzak couldn't recall walking under any ladders the day before.

''MEOW!''

A cat had intercepted his path on the sidewalk, tripping Yzak in surprise and almost making him fall flat on his face. He thanked his gifted reflexes and cursed the cat to the fiery depths of hell, glaring at it's retreating form across his neighbour's lawn.

''Lucky you're out of reach...''

He shoved his hands in his pockets, head bowed down away from the blinding sunlight. Barely a few steps later, an awkward feeling emanated from every other step he took. A slight bump could be felt that prevented his foot from landing flatly on the ground. Lifting his right foot, he found the culprit. A bright, pink piece of heavily-chewed bubble gum was firmly implanted on the sole of his shoe. Lovely.

He spotted a stick, and attempted to attack the offending piece of plastic, hoping to overcome the sticky substance. It really didn't help.

''Why me?'' sighed Yzak, giving up and tossing the stick carelessly over his shoulder. A mental note was made to bring out the heavy cleaning artillery that his mother sent to him over the holidays.

He reached the intersection just as the lights changed. Yzak waited for the light to indicate 'walk', so he could cross the street and enter the library. It was conveniently a 10 minute walk.

A red sports car flew past, and a loud whistle was sent to his direction. Yzak looked, and saw a pretty girl, winking at him from the passenger side of the car as it sped by.

Bemused, Yzak smiled inwardly to himself.

What Yzak hadn't noticed however, was that a pair of beady eyes watched him from it's perch on a tree branch, just a few feet from his head. Very unfortunate to have a tree grow right next to the sidewalk, so close to the street corner, and so close to the unsuspecting boy.

A small chirpy-squeaky noise made Yzak's ears prick up.

_Huh?_

He looked around on the ground, expecting to find something there.

The chirpy-squeaky noise returned, this time louder.

_Great, what is it now._

Slowly, steeling himself for the expected, Yzak turned his head up above his head.

There, clutching onto an acorn, and looking down upon his frozen form was a-

''Little rat.'' raised Yzak's eyebrows. He huffed, and walked away, thankful that the crosswalk now allowed him to cross. It made him uneasy to turn his back on the squirrel, though. Those tiny mammals could jump far.

Yzak Jule hates animals. There was no reason whatsoever for his intense dislike; he just didn't like them at all. He found them to be dirty, high maintenance creatures that he couldn't see fit to turn his back to.

He especially disliked rodents, and anything that resemble them.

From his standpoint, those beady little eyes sensed more than just the location of food.

Those furry little rats could also sense fear.

Of course, Yzak Jule wouldn't admit to being afraid of rodents. No, he simply didn't agree with their twitching noses, ever-so-sensitive ears... Also how they seemed to effectively follow you without making much noise.

Absolutely not; there was nothing to fear about rodents.

It would also have helped if he didn't watch the Discovery Channel as often as he did.

An elderly librarian addressed him upon his entry. ''Good morning, Mr. Jule, how are you this morning?'' she smiled widely.

Yzak paused, contemplating on his reply. She looked happy, and Yzak didn't really feel like bursting her bubble on how horrible his day was so far.

''Just smashing, thank you.'' _Smashing??_ Last and final time he would watch one of Dearka's shows. The elderly woman nodded in acknowledgment and just sat back down, buried behind a computer, tapping away rapidly.

The library was still quiet that morning. Better to avoid the afternoon rush. Children were just as frightening as few of the creatures he would rather not name. Yzak reveled in the scent of books, and its overall tidiness. Structure was a must. He found a book of his particular liking (The Secrets of The Perfect Leader), a small pocketbook with no pictures. The librarian scanned his book, and sent him on his way, with a cheerful: ''Have a good day, Mr. Jule.''

He just nodded in reply this time, and went on his way to the coffee shop just across the street. It was newly opened, so curiosity got the best of him. A glance at his watch told him he had plenty of time before lunch. It was only 1000 hours.

It was a small cafe, with neatly uniformed staff. Rows of cakes and various biscuits lined the front counter, beside the cashier. It looked as if he just missed a large line, as people were waiting up to pick up their drinks.

''Hello sir, may I help you over here?''

Yzak turned to the clerk, who was right next to his till, smiling widely. He winced inwardly; so welcoming. What was up with the smiling people this Monday morning? It's _Monday_.

''Yeah uh... I'll keep looking for a bit.'' Yzak replied, backing away to look at the overhead menu. Something strong and caffeinated should be good. There was no need to eat any sweets; that wasn't really his 'thing'.

''Take your time.'' answered the clerk, sending him a wink.

Yzak felt a shiver run to his toes. Did that guy just wink at him? Shaking that feeling off, he made a choice, settling to satisfy a little bit of his sweet tooth. It's just too bad there was no other till open.

''Uh hi.'' greeted Yzak, pulling out his wallet.

''What can I do for you today?'' replied the overly friendly guy expectantly.

''I'll have a caramel macchiatto please.''

''Excellent choice sir.'' the order was placed with a few short beeps of the till. ''What size would you like? Looks like you could use a large one.'' he winked again, this time Yzak paled.

Did he just receive an innuendo?

Yzak just shook his head, shaking that other thought away. "I'll just have the medium.''

Still not put out, the clerk still smiled. ''That will be $3.20 please.'' he held out his hand in expectation.

Holding out $3.25, Yzak handed the money to him. Only to wish he was a little more careful.

The clerk stroked his hand as he received the pay, chuckling. ''Want your change?''

''Just keep it.'' there was no way Yzak would be coming back here. Ever. His hand and mind felt thoroughly molested.

He sat himself outside, under a large brown umbrella. At least the caramel macchiatto he ordered was made fast. His nose deeply savoured the richness of his drink. Perfect, he had his book, a nice hot drink, plus a good place to sit. It wasn't too sunny, and the cool trees nearby sheltered him from too much of the hustle and bustle of the morning traffic.

The book was definitely intriguing. Yzak turned the page, deeply engrossed by the book. _Despite being told that geniuses were most likely crazy, they really had interesting ideas._

''Ow... What the-'' Yzak felt something small, yet hard fall on his head, clutter to the floor. He was familiar with the children's story about 'Chicken Little', but there was no way that the sky would be falling. Annoyed by whatever interrupted him, Yzak looked up.

Then once again wished he hadn't.

A small brown furry rodent looked down upon the pilot again, clutching a nut between its teeth. Yzak glared at the creature, hoping to drive it away. To his dismay though, the squirrel stared at back at him clearly unfazed. All he succeeded in was having the squirrel cock it's head to the side, pull the nut from its mouth, and nibble. He refused to believe that the squirrel had enough brains to annoy him by dropping a nut down on his head. Frustrated but not concerned, Yzak returned to his book. _The qualities of a true leader was to be outgoing, very eloquent-_ He reached for his coffee _-also dedicated and persevering-_

The pilot stopped reading his book when he felt his hand brush against something soft as he reached for his drink. The book fell on his lap unceremoniously. A yell escaped his lips briefly as he spotted the 'something soft'.

The squirrel was sitting beside his coffee up, front legs resting on the saucer, with its black eyes staring right back into blue ones.

''You've got to freakin kidding me.'' muttered the boy, his face paled a shade. It took plenty of control JUST so he wouldn't burst out in sweat in public.

The squirrel inclined again its head and took a curious step toward Yzak, it's nose sniffing the air.

Forgetting whatever control he was attempting to have, Yzak gave a loud shriek, standing up abruptly, and overturning his chair. ''S-stay away from me!'' snapped Yzak, holding his book tight and waving it threateningly against the squirrel that was still innocently standing next to his macchiatto. Glaring at a couple that was seated right across from where he was, Yzak turned to leave. They were looking at him as if he were a lunatic.

''Is there something the matter, sir?'' the cashier was back, smiling once again.

''N-NOOO! Forget it, I'm outta here.'' replied Yzak, breaking into a sprint as he spotted the offending clerk.

Somewhere between waking up this morning and now, Yzak didn't care if he left a little bit of dignity behind.

That squirrel smelled his fear, and reveled in making him uncomfortable.

-

Clutching a stitch in his chest, Yzak had run all the way to the gas station. He refused to look behind him, just in case. It was better to avoid all eyes that could be watching him sprint down the street, fully breaking into sweat. Gathering his cool, Yzak leaned against the wall and studied his surroundings. It was definitely past the time he wanted to be home by.

Maybe when he got home, he could take his book and curl up on the couch and just get that relaxation he had been planning for.

He headed in the direction of home, putting his hands in his pockets again.

_Wait._

Yzak withdrew his hands from the pockets, and stared at them. Wasn't there something else? Revelation hit him as it slowly dawned on him.

_I left my library book somewhere?! _

''This _cannot _be happening. I _cannot_ be so full of bad luck today, its just impossible.'' he ranted angrily, as he attempted to retrace his steps. ''I _refuse_ to believe that I'm this irresponsible.''

A car honked it's horn as Yzak absentmindedly crossed the road.

''Hey you, move it! Get out of the way!'' hollered the driver angrily as he waited for Yzak to cross so he could turn right.

Yzak slowly turned to the man, his expression menacing. ''You watch where you're going. Don't make me move _you_ out of the way, because I'm in that mood right now, and I won't hesitate to do so. '' he snapped, continuing his pace. The driver blanched and said no more.

Two mothers pushing strollers gasped back in surprise as the frustrated gundam pilot ran past them like a wild cheetah in heat. He hoped the book was still there, wherever he managed to drop it. It really wasn't his fault that he was focused on getting away with his life in tact.

Desperation was beginning to set in. He was very tired right now, and his nerves were full to capacity with always being on his wit's end. Miracles would be good right about now.

Running past the bridge he flew by minutes before, he spotted it; right next to the children's play park. There was the book, resting ever-so innocently beneath the trees. Many mothers watched their children climb on the monkey bars, slide on the slide, and play at the miniature water park. Small tubes lining the water park area would shoot out water as a kid walk past a sensor for a short period of time. Giggled issued from the children as they ran around, resembling the familiar game of tag.

Happily Yzak ran towards the book, jumping over a kid playing by the sandbox. Just as he was about to grab the book however, a small little boy, with brown hair and wide eyes (the kid disturbingly resembled Kira Yamato) picked up the book, and began to chew at the corners. He looked as though he was barely 4 years old.

Eyes wide-shot with horror, Yzak bent down to the little boy, reaching a hand down in front of him. ''Hey, little kid, can I have my book back.'' To his further dismay, the little boy simply walked away from him and headed over to the jungle gym, still preoccupied with chewing on Yzak's library book.

Expression deadpanned, Yzak grumbled to himself as he followed the boy, pulling out a dollar from his wallet. He caught up to the kid, and waved the dollar in front of the little boy's face. The little boy (with the resemblance to Kira Yamato), stared at the dollar with slight interest. Triumphantly smiling, Yzak continued to shake the dollar tauntingly.

''So...Kid...Do you want the dollar? I'll trade you the book for it.'' he offered, hoping the kid would reach over to take the dollar.

The kid continued to look at the dollar. Unfortunately for Yzak, children tended to value things that were more bigger in size. It was just too bad that the dollar bill he held in his hand didn't make a good trade. The boy shook his head, and continued to walk over to the jungle gym.

With almost no experience with this situation, Yzak did what could only make sense in his mind. In a quick action, he grabbed the kid with one arm, and attempted to grab the book with his other arm. The boy screamed bloody murder, kicking madly about him, his feet connecting with a few appendages Yzak hoped were more protected...

Victory was his! Book held tightly in his arm, Yzak felt relieved at getting the book back. It was just too bad there were some irreversible bite marks on the cover.

SLAP!

The gundam pilot felt stunned, as a surprise attack (in the form of a slap) almost threw him to the ground. Alarmed, he dropped the kid, who ran to his mother- the woman who dealt the heavy blow to the side of his head.

''You-you-CHILD MOLESTER!'' she screeched, raising her hand once more. This screech sadly attracted the attention of the other mothers. It was at that moment that Yzak could see every mother seemed poised in his direction, ready to deliver the beating of his life.

Quickly, Yzak spent no time in running away, gripping the book tightly. Fighting in outer space was one thing, but fighting a mob of angry mothers yelling 'child molester' at your retreating back was another story.

Before he got too far however, jets of water sprayed his whole body. Great... He ran into the water park. Cursing continually under his breath, Yzak kept running, getting soaked as he went.

He wondered who he killed in the past life to be so jinxed in this one.

-

Dearka Elthman was overjoyed to be finally getting a few days off. His roommate Yzak had gotten a day's head start, but they still got time to chill for the rest of the week-long break they had. Maybe they could just go to the library- Yzak really liked to read books. He balanced the bag of a few things he picked up before he headed for home, and fished around his pocket for the keys.

Opening the door, Dearka noticed it was very quiet, and Yzak said he would be home at this time. It was a little unsettling, because usually he would find his roommate lounging on the couch with a book, or working away on his laptop. Concerned for his friend's welfare, Dearka called Yzak's name, but with no results. He looked everywhere, but wondered how he missed the figure sitting on the couch, with a totally exhausted expression on his face.

''Dude... What happened to you?'' Dearka assessed the figure sitting statue-like on the couch. He was soaked, his hair flat on his face. To his right hand held a book which too, was drenched, yet from what Dearka saw, it looked bitten and beaten up.

''Er... Yzak?''

Yzak grunted. "Had the worst day.''

''Oh.'' Dearka couldn't find words of comfort to his pal, but he set the grocery bag on the coffee table, and removed his jacket. ''You had me worried there, Yzak. You said you were going to be home at this time, and I thought you were still out.'' he cautiously peeked into Yzak's face. ''Hey, did you just get home? You're completely soaked. It hasn't even been raining.''

Yzak groaned, and leaned back on the couch. ''Worst day ever.'' he repeated.

''Did you get beaten up or something?''

''No.'' said Yzak simply. ''Nothing happened today that I planned for.''

''Ah... Want to talk about it?'' concern was all over Dearka's face, hoping his friend could vent his experience.

A glare was sent to his direction. ''Basically I managed to save my life today. I got attacked by a cat, ruined my shoe, got hit-on by a guy, stalked by a rabid squirrel, just saw Kira Yamato's child-twin, and got mobbed by a group of enraged mothers.'' his tone was monotonous. ''I have 'children' as the new addition to my 'dislike' list.''

Dearka laughed out loud, thinking it was a joke, but stopped at the seriousness on his friend's face. ''Oh... Well, maybe tomorrow it'll be better, Yzak.'' he pat his friend on the shoulder. ''We can go looking for new shoes.''

Again, Yzak just grunted.

Dearka rolled his eyes. ''Hey, I got just the thing to help you get better.'' he brandished the shopping bag he brought home. ''I know how much you like maple syrup and pancakes, so I got some more.''

This piqued his friend's interest. ''How did you know we were out of those?''

''Oh, haha.'' laughed Dearka sheepishly, embarrassed. ''Well, I was having difficulty this morning; somehow I used up all the hot water and I didn't have any idea what to have for breakfast, so I just quickly whipped up some pancakes with your maple syrup. I kinda almost used up all of it, and I hoped I replaced it before you noticed.'' he placed the bottle of maple syrup in the cupboard, and turned to Yzak.

''You...Used up all the hot water and my maple syrup?'' whispered Yzak, who had gotten up off the couch, pulling the wet hair off his face. His eyebrows narrowed.

''Hehe, oh yeah...'' Dearka noticed the frown on Yzak's face. ''Hey you forgive me though, right? I mean it was just maple syrup.''

At those words, however, Yzak threw his hands in frustration. ''You...''

''Me?'' Dearka pointed to himself, feeling heat radiate off Yzak.

''-ARE SO DEAD ELTHMAN!'' Yzak lunged for Dearka, as his friend ran, wondering what in god's name made him snap.

It was really puzzling to Dearka why his roommate would make such a big deal over maple syrup, pancake batter, and hot water, but apparently it was. All he knew, was that it was important to keep running, because Yzak looked really pissed.

''Hey, was it because you hate squirrels?!'' he yelled, dodging the coffee table.

The answering roar behind him pretty much shows that he was partly correct.

-

End.

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**Author's Note: Well...Don't get me wrong; I adore Yzak, Dearka and Kira. However, I might just have this cruel sadistic sense of humour? I do feel bad, but the story was beginning to write itself, especially right after the gum got stuck on his shoe. Yzak just really grew on me. This greatly amused me, and I hope it somewhat amuses you. School managed to kill a bit of my sense of humour. But yes, I had fun. :D**


End file.
